STEFANIE’S STORY OF SURVIVORSHIP

The following article profiles the journey of Stefanie Lancaster, 43, a traumatic brain injury (TBI) survivor.  Stefanie lives in Dover, Delaware and has a 16-year-old-son and 9-year-old daughter.  She has been married for 20 years and has been with her husband since age 15.  She works for the State of Delaware in the disabilities field as a contractor manager. 

Stefanie's TBI story began when she was 16 and was involved in a motor vehicle accident.  At that time, while driving her car, she crossed the northbound side of the highway to go south.  Simultaneously, a speeding motorcyclist well over the legal alcohol limit hit behind Stefanie's driver's side door.  This sent her vehicle spinning into the southbound side of the highway.  When her car spun, Stefanie's head hit the steering wheel, causing a skull fracture and whiplash. 

After the accident, Stefanie had reconstructive surgery to put multiple plates in her head to piece her skull back together.  It was at that point that she was diagnosed with a TBI.  Stefanie's symptoms currently include migraines when the barometric pressure changes, such as when bad weather is imminent, and occasional memory loss.  Her activities of daily living are slightly affected.  For example, she will sometimes forget what ingredients go into certain meals she has fixed in the past.

Stefanie's treatments include medication for her migraines and exercise.  She states that many treatments that are now available for TBI were not offered or available to her at the time of her injury.    She typically finds ways of dealing with her TBI like "making notes for myself on my phone or on my desk as needed to remember things.  My family does help me sometimes," she said. 

Having a TBI and the associated symptoms can put a strain on an individual’s relationship.  Whether it be cooking a meal and having to ask, “Hey honey, what are the specific seasonings we have used for this?” or “How long should this cook for?”, these can be simple things that could be written down on a notecard vs always relying on a loved one to repeat to you what needs to go into something.  This can put an undue strain on one’s relationship.  This is just one example.   

Stefanie reported that she was ashamed and never spoke of her TBI at first.  "There is a stigma around those with TBI, just like others with other disabilities," Stefanie said.  She said she often felt ashamed to discuss her disability, in fear that others would perceive her differently.  She said that it wasn't until the last three years or so that she has just begun to open up and reveal her injury to friends and others outside of her usual circle of people. 

Stefanie's message to others living with TBI is to "share your story to help others learn how to navigate the world of living with a TBI," she said.  Her message to those close to people with a TBI is "to be patient and try to put yourself in your loved one's shoes.  Be as understanding as you can, and know they are not forgetting or acting a certain way because they want to aggravate you.  Know that they can't control it, and they are doing their best to work through things," she said. 

Currently, Stefanie still feels there is a stigma associated with TBI.  However, she feels that the more a person with a TBI shares their story and experiences, the more she feels that the stigma can be lifted.  She said that sharing helps a person feel less shame about what they are going through.   She feels sharing also helps one connect with supportive others and navigate a new way of living.  

Authored by Sheila M. McHugh, RN